Dear People Crossing the Street Outside of the Crosswalk and In Front of Moving Cars,
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Go across the street in a short, straight line and then turn the direction you need to go. Trust me, it actually takes less time and the people coming toward you in a car won't need to dodge from hitting you.
Dear Students Crossing the Second Busiest Road in Town in a Construction Zone,
Please stop and think. You are a college student and an adult. You should be smart enough to realize that walkers in a construction zone are not welcome. Even more so if that construction zone takes the second busiest road in town from 4 lanes to two. Just stop. Thanks!
Dear First Apartment,
As the time to move draws nearer, there are many things that I will miss about you. The giant trees outside my windows, the fountain, the pond, the dog run. I will miss all of that dearly. However, I will not miss the 2 am guitar sessions, sharing a wall with my neighbor, or walking through grass and/or mud to get from my car to my steps. You've been a great first place.
You really need to take the time to cook nice meals and invite people over to eat them. Why? Because you have so many awesome kitchen gadgets and serving ware that you never use. People enjoy eating in good company. You enjoy cooking. Get on it.
Dear Apartment Management,
Thank you very much for finally replacing the broken fountain in the pond after over 4 months of its absence. Especially since I have just a few days remaining to enjoy it.
You have grown so much and it is quite impressive. However, you are lopsided. I have turned you planter many times but you still have one side that grows up and another that grows out and down. Why?
Where are these good looking men in the real world and how can I meet them?