Friday, April 29, 2011

Three More Days

Three More Days. Three More Days. Three More Days. Three More Days.

This will be my mantra today. I have been repeating this everyday this week. Six More Days, Five More Days, Four More Days... I have three more days until the end of this month. This month has been hell. It's been the month with the biggest sales goal but the smallest payroll budget. It's been the month where I have worked 226 hours and still have three more days to go. It's been the month where I have been at work at 7:30 am or earlier and not left until after 8 pm. It's been the month where I haven't been able to play with my dog or eat a proper dinner because I get home so late. It's been the month where I have been so drowsy driving in the morning that I have chugged coffee and turned the air on. It's been the month that the most annoying groups have come through our doors. It's been the month that I couldn't keep my billing straight. It's been the month that I have considered quitting because these hours are ridiculous.

Can I vent for a minute? Of course, Ms. Attitude, it's your blog, go ahead and vent.

The other sales managers offer to help me with these events. What they fail to say is that they will help me during the day when they are already here. They don't offer to help me after hours or on the weekends. Yeah, some of them had to do this about 6-7 months ago, but you'd think that since they know what it's like, they would help right? Wrong. You ask them to stay late on a Friday night to help out because you don't have the staff to come in, nor the payroll to support them, and they agree, but then raise a stink about how they don't get to spend time with their family when they get to leave at least 2 hours before you. I have been at work every day this month at 8 am or earlier and the others don't roll in until 9 am or after because they were out on "sales calls" Yeah right. How long does it take to make one call in the morning? Why don't you offer to come in early one day and help open an event so that I can come in later and close it out? By the way, thanks for helping to flip that room that one day. That one day.

How many times have I been in the kitchen at 6 pm and the others come in with their coats and purses to say "Have a good night" instead of "Would you like some help?" When was the last time you arrived to work on time when I have already been here for an hour or more already? Oh, I know, about 2 weeks ago. I know that my job is to take care of the events, but geez, a little help would be nice. Do you realize that most of my employees are students who have class during the day and that's when a vast majority of the events have taken place? Do you realize how hard I am trying to stay on top of things just so I can work the events and get work done in the office? Do you realize that I have taken work home, which was a vow to myself that I would never do? I don't care that you all don't get things done during the 40 hours you are here and have to enter things into the computer on Sunday nights. You say that this isn't a "40 hour work week". Yeah, I realize that. What I am upset about is the "70-80 hour work weeks" I have put in. How many weeks in the last 5 months have you worked more than 50 hours? Not many I am sure.

Wait, what's that? You said yesterday that I get to pick a day next week to take a half day? Well, a full day would be nice and that's what I am going to demand. Oh, you joke about bringing me a cupcake with a candle to thank me for making it through this month? Fuck your cupcake. Give me a day off instead. Or two. Make upper management understand that I need time off from this place whether or not I have the "paid time off" days or not. When was the last time any of them worked more than 50 hours in a week? I know for a fact that two of them leave at exactly their "closing time" and that's it until the next day.

By they way, my salary is shitty. I know I shouldn't bitch about this because I am grateful to have a job, but this pay is terrible for the amount of hours I put in here. I have put in over 50 hours a week since I have started. Even in our slowest months. Sure, some of those weeks may have only been 45 hours, but still. Do I get that quarterly bonus? Did we even make it? Oh wait, I don't find out for sure until 45 days after the end of the quarter? Well, that sucks. Based on my calculations, we should get that bonus, but waiting 45 days to find out? That's like sitting in the examination room of the gynecologist's office. You don't pay me enough to spend this much time at the office and away from my family. You joke about getting me a boyfriend from the group that comes in this weekend. Screw your jokes. They're not funny anymore. I want to be able to go out and meet someone in the world, not at the office.

Also, I don't want to hear about that one time you waited as long as possible to go to the doctor and then realized that you had a temperature of over 100 degrees. Do you realize how many times you have repeated that story? More than 3 I can tell you and I wasn't even interested in hearing about it after the first time. Do you realize that I am sick right now? Do you know what it's like to have such bad allergies that you can't breathe as it is because you are terrified of needles and then on top of that, come down with a cold or something? Do you know what it's like to suffer a back injury 9 years ago that gives you chronic back pain and you can hardly move right now with out hurting because your back is out of alignment? What's that? Go to the doctor? I would love to do that, but when can I go? I can't leave early or come in late and the offices are closed on the weekends. That's sucks, huh?

Do you know how annoying it is to listen to you read the newspaper articles a room away when I am trying to focus on billing? I don't give a shit about what's in the paper. If I wanted to know, I would have looked it up myself. Do you know how annoying and distracting it is to listen to two of you holler back and forth about stuff, work related or not? I have put my blinders on and have started to tune you all out, but then you still think that I am listening and pull my focus away. Please, stop that. I don't care. I don't want to see you standing around because you "can't sit still" and that you "hate your desk job". You know, there is a room across that hall that needs to be reset and napkins that need to be folded, and a kitchen that needs to be mopped. How about you go do one of those things instead of standing around the office?

Your sympathy can only go so far. How about some help. You thought it was funny in that meeting with our big bosses when they mentioned flex hours and the supervisor said "we do that". Do you realize how hard it was for me to bite my tongue and not say anything. Have you noticed that when I am trying really hard not to say something, I tap my toe? You thought that snap I made to one of my employees was bad a couple of weeks ago? You haven't seen anything yet. I'm a pretty big bitch and have been really careful to not do or say anything that would get me in trouble. You joke about my employees all leaving when I tell them to get their acts together and do their job correctly? So what if they did? Yeah, I would have to work more hours, but then they would know their expectations. And if they can't reach those expectations, then let me find someone who can. I know it's hard to find good help for the crappy pay they get, but you know what? It's possible.

Don't even get me started on that chef. Did you know that he acts like a 12 year old boy when something doesn't go his way? Did you know that all chefs are eccentric and have their own "hot headed" tendencies? Yeah? You did? How many chefs have you worked with? One, two? You know how many I have worked with? Try six.

By the way, I love those text messages I get some mornings about you running late. Of course I am going to send back "OK", but inside I am furious. I don't have that luxury. You aren't even awake when I realize that I may be running late. then, on that one or two days I show up late, the entire office gets in trouble because there wasn't anyone in the office at 8 am. I hope you enjoy that luxury.

Do you know that when I went out on calls that one day, I said I was going to make two, but I only made one and was gone for an hour just so I could get away from the office? Yeah, I know that we can leave for an hour everyday if we wanted, but do you realize that I can't leave if there is a group in house? Do you know how many of my meals this past month have been left over banquet food? I stopped making my lunch because I didn't have enough time in the evening the night before or the morning of. I have spent so much money on take out from the restaurant next door just because I needed something to eat.

I hope you know that I have a terrible headache, I don't feel well, and despite my 1.5 hour nap yesterday and the roughly 7.5 hours of sleep I got last night, that I am still exhausted.

I have to say, if you stuck around until the end of this post, I applaud you. I am not really looking for sympathy, I just needed to get this out and this post has been very therapeutic.

Thank you for reading. See you in May.


Lin said...

Holy cow, I dont know how you deal with your job. I got tired just reading about everything you go through lol.

I really hope you get some time off soon & are able to rest.

Gwen said...

Vent away girl. Sometimes just letting it all out can help you feel better. I hope you had a good weekend and that the day or two of time off is coming up quickly. Sending you my hugs!!

Sandra said...

Not only will I give you sympathy, but I will also say that a fucking cupcake compared to a full day off is shitty! You can buy your own cupcake! Hope you feel better after the rant, however i suspect the only thing that will cure you for good is a really good sleep catch-up!