Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Reflections: The Gym

"If winter is slumber and spring is birth, and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection. It's a time of year when the leaves are down and the harvest is in and the perennials are gone. Mother Earth just closed up the drapes on another year and it's time to reflect on what's come before."--Mitchell Burgess, Northern Exposure, Thanksgiving, 1992

Around my birthday in July, I decided to get a gym membership. That whole "working out at home" thing never really worked for me because, once I'm home, I'm home and I want to get comfortable. The gym was right on my way home and I could easily stop there to get a workout in before going home. It seemed like a good plan. And it still is, however, I haven't been to the gym since August.

When I walked in on my first official day, (remember the fitness assessment?) I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know why because I used to be able to go into the gym and do my thing. I started to notice that I spent all of my time on the cardio equipment and never on the weights side. This made me upset, because I shouldn't feel embarrassed or anything. The gym I go to is very well rounded with all kinds of people and helpful staff. Still, I didn't want to go over there because I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do.

I can't believe that I have been paying for a membership I haven't been using. I did get really busy with work. (These past two months are two of the busiest of the year). But still, I should at least be able to make it to a spinning class 3 times a month! Spinning is my favorite! I had such a great plan for the gym (and my life) too. It hasn't been put into place.

I keep getting on the scale every Wednesday (that's my "weigh in" day), hoping to have lost weight (I have been eating better), but the weight fluctuates and I don't really lose anything. I shouldn't be surprised because I don't put in the work. I am so frustrated with myself, it's unreal. I have such a negative attitude about my body and it makes me sick.

I brought my gym clothes with me today and am hoping to stop by tonight, even if it is just for 30 minutes, even though I have a late meeting tonight. *sigh* We shall see what happens. I used to love the gym and I want to get that feeling back. I want to put in the work and feel good about myself.

2 comments:

The Pink Chick said...

I can totally relate! I have a love/hate relationship with the gym. I hate to go, but I always love that I went!

Mrs. S. said...

Good luck!!!!