Around my birthday in July, I decided to get a gym membership. That whole "working out at home" thing never really worked for me because, once I'm home, I'm home and I want to get comfortable. The gym was right on my way home and I could easily stop there to get a workout in before going home. It seemed like a good plan. And it still is, however, I haven't been to the gym since August.
When I walked in on my first official day, (remember the fitness assessment?) I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know why because I used to be able to go into the gym and do my thing. I started to notice that I spent all of my time on the cardio equipment and never on the weights side. This made me upset, because I shouldn't feel embarrassed or anything. The gym I go to is very well rounded with all kinds of people and helpful staff. Still, I didn't want to go over there because I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do.
I can't believe that I have been paying for a membership I haven't been using. I did get really busy with work. (These past two months are two of the busiest of the year). But still, I should at least be able to make it to a spinning class 3 times a month! Spinning is my favorite! I had such a great plan for the gym (and my life) too. It hasn't been put into place.
I keep getting on the scale every Wednesday (that's my "weigh in" day), hoping to have lost weight (I have been eating better), but the weight fluctuates and I don't really lose anything. I shouldn't be surprised because I don't put in the work. I am so frustrated with myself, it's unreal. I have such a negative attitude about my body and it makes me sick.
I brought my gym clothes with me today and am hoping to stop by tonight, even if it is just for 30 minutes, even though I have a late meeting tonight. *sigh* We shall see what happens. I used to love the gym and I want to get that feeling back. I want to put in the work and feel good about myself.